Marriages are not just about one person, but you can do your part by knowing what makes the qualities of a good wife in the present age vs. the 1950s.
The qualities of a good wife in the 2020s are not the same as a good wife in the 1950s. Back then a good wife was said to have dinner on the table when you arrived home from work. She always ensured the children were clean and quiet. She would put her husband’s needs before her own.
Well, a good wife in the 2020s is quite a bit different. She is independent. She is able and willing and more than capable of working. Plus, she is her own person partnered with a husband, not owned by him.
A woman can do a lot of things to be a good wife today, but none of those things should make her feel uncomfortable or less than her husband.
What is a good wife?
A good wife respects her husband and herself.
Yet, many still believe a wife should abide by her husband’s rules. She should know her husband’s needs and meet them and keep any issues in the marriage private. She should always look her best for her husband.
When you initially Google qualities of a good wife, you will see things like: shares your beliefs, selfless, attractive, and loves you unconditionally. This is an actual list of the qualities of a good wife. In fact, it is the first list that comes up at the time of writing this article.
Not one of these things is necessary to be a good wife. These things do not make a good wife, they make a bad husband in many cases.
There are plenty of successful and happy marriages where a couple has differing religious beliefs. No one is selfless. And unconditional love is wildly dangerous. These things hold women up to an unattainable standard when there are no requirements of a good wife.
A good wife is one who does her best and expects the best from her husband.
A good wife will demand respect from her husband and return that respect. She will have bad days when she needs more attention or space and will be there for her husband on his bad days too. She will be herself and be honest with her husband.
A good wife is what works for that particular marriage. There is no firm definition of a good wife. Sure, she is respectful, loyal, and kind, but beyond that, wives and husbands will differ based on their relationship and what it needs.
Qualities of a good wife
The qualities of a good wife could be listed on a sheet of never-ending paper. There are so many qualities of a good wife. There are also things some husbands will love while others won’t.
Although most of these qualities of a good wife are universal to marriage and relationships, it is always good to keep in mind that being a good wife is what works for you and your husband, not anyone else.
#1 Communicate the good and the bad. We all know communication is key when it comes to relationships. One quality of being a good wife is to communicate when it’s easy and when it’s hard. Talk about the good stuff but don’t avoid the hard stuff like finances, disagreements, and other things that come up. Communicating through the hard times is what strengthens the relationship.
#2 Be supportive. Support his career, his goals, and even his hobbies, but realistically. You don’t need to be a cheerleader. You do not live solely for him. Let him know if his new love of motorcycles worries you, or if his commitment to the office is taking too much time away from the family.
You can be supportive and caring at the same time. Support isn’t divided from worry.
#3 Challenge him. We should help our partners be better. We want them to challenge us when we are being lazy or inconsiderate, so we should do the same. Call him out. If he ignores you for the game or says something inappropriate, call him out and let him know why you’re doing it.
You can help each other be better people in and out of the relationship.
#4 Have your own time. Make sure to take time for yourself. A good wife knows when she needs a break. A good marriage doesn’t mean you’re always together. If you don’t put the energy into your own self-care, you won’t have the energy to focus on nourishing your marriage.
#5 Listen. Something we often forget is to listen. We may remember to communicate our feelings, but forego hearing the other person out. Even if you strongly believe you’re right in a situation, hear him out. Listen to what he’s saying and ask questions.
Some fights can simply be sorted by understanding where the other person is coming from.
#6 Appreciation. Tensions run high in marriages. When you live with someone, it is no surprise something will get on your nerves, but don’t let little pet peeves make you forget all the things he does right.
Take time each day, even if just a few minutes, to appreciate the little things he does. Whether it is bringing you coffee in bed, surprising you with your favorite dessert after work, or helping you build that IKEA dresser, those things mean something.
#7 Be honest. White lies, such as “honey, I love your new tie,” will not get you in trouble, but honesty is the best policy in the long run. Even if it is difficult to hear, a good wife will tell her husband the truth. She’ll be nice and compassionate when it comes to the hard facts, but she’ll be there for everything.
#8 Keep the romance alive. You and your partner both need to focus on this, but if one of you is worried or busy, the other should step up. Take the time to organize a sexy night in if he’s swamped with work. Recreate some of your first dates.
A good wife strives to maintain the chemistry throughout the day.
#9 Laugh. Make an effort not to take things too seriously. Sure, it’s vital to get down to business and take care of bills and other obligations, but nothing beats unwinding and laughing together. A wise wife knows when to relax and let go of the seriousness.
#10 Compliment him. Tell your husband if you think his new suit is sexy. Tell him if he smells good. Compliment him if he did a nice job mowing the bushes or if he remembered to record your favorite show. And if you have anything pleasant to say, say it.
It may seem insignificant, but those simple praises will brighten his day just as much as they will brighten yours.
#11 Make small gestures. The majority of married life is made up of small gestures. Most couples aren’t flying to Paris or taking carriage rides together. Spend a few minutes each day thinking about your husband and making him feel special.
It could be anything from preparing his favorite dinner to massage his shoulders or simply kissing him longer than usual before leaving for work.
#12 Tell him what you need. Many couples have problems because they believe the other person should know what they want or need, yet individuals, particularly males, are not mind readers.
Tell your partner if you need more help, attention, or time with him. It’s critical that you give him an opportunity to right the wrongs and make you happy.
#13 Let go of the little things. You’ve probably asked your hubby a hundred times to pick up his dirty clothes. He may have begun, but one night he arrived late and placed his dirty socks on the floor. Instead of turning it into a federal case, pick your battles.
Is a conflict worth it for one restless night?
The traits of a good wife are endless, giving you plenty of opportunities to get it right. These are the attributes you should pay attention to more than any of the traditional ones.